Inspirational Quotes
Words to motivate, inspire, and guide you.
Humor Quotes
FlatteryHumorIronySelf-Image I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
HopeHumorPerseveranceSelf-ExpressionWork Ethic For now, I'm just going to keep doing the work and hope I don't get fired. If people want to put me up on their walls, I'll love it.
CreativityEducationHumorIndependenceSelf-Expression It was very lucky for me as a writer that I studied the physical sciences rather than English. I wrote for my own amusement. There was no kindly English professor to tell me for my own good how awful my writing really was. And there was no professor with the power to order me what to read, either.
HumilityHumorObservationPerseveranceSports I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing, and the shadow won.
AdmirationAspirationCareerCollaborationHumor I always wanted to do a comedy, but I wanted to pick the right one. But it came down to working with Steve Carell. I've wanted to work with him since I met him years ago as a kid.
AppearanceCriticismHumor Joe Frazier is so ugly that when he cries, the tears turn around and go down the back of his head.
CreativityFocusHumorPerseveranceResilience I just wrote one song at a time. Kinda like an alcoholic. One day at a time.
ForgivenessHumilityHumorToleranceUnderstanding Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense.
AuthenticityCareerHumorLuckSelf-awareness I've been really fortunate in that I guess I was hired to do 'A Cook's Tour;' I was already a known quantity, meaning I had written a really obnoxious book and nobody expected me to be anyone that I wasn't already.
AspirationHumorImaginationSelf-Perception I used to pretend that my Peugeot driving to the gym in the rain in Dublin was a Ferrari on the Vegas strip.
HumorManipulationPatienceSelf-interest I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.
CriticismHuman RightsHumorIronyPolitics I can make a joke pointing out that David Cameron told off Sri Lanka for human rights abuses committed with weapons Britain sold it - like Ronald McDonald calling you a fat bastard.
EntertainmentHumorPositivity Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.
ClarityConfusionGrowthHumorSelf-awareness I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks.
HumorIntelligenceObservation Bores can be divided into two classes; those who have their own particular subject, and those who do not need a subject.
